7 Years since the SCOTUS ruling for marriage equality

Scotus nationwide ruling for marriage equality 2015

7 years later, I see this message of what I shared on social media when it happened:

Dear friends, while I’m super stoked for progress toward equality and I love the lightness & fun of liking rainbow filtered pictures, we all know that there won’t be only positivity & good “feels” moving ahead. I’m not meaning to be a downer, but feeling called to put some awareness of a larger picture out there. While I’m not even the biggest proponent of marriage to begin with (that’s a whole other post, ha!) yesterday’s events happen to be aligned with my beliefs and world view. Hence, providing me a feeling of positive emotion and a sense of progress for people and modern society. This is not the case for everyone, and moving forward I want to be empathetic of that reality.

There is term in psychology called cognitive dissonance, in which I believe many will be experiencing. It is the stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values. For many, the recent marriage equality ruling will appear as such confronting new information. Some will revisit previously existing beliefs and reformulate them, others won’t. Some will become more tolerant and accepting, others won’t. Some will see this as an opportunity to grow & open their hearts, and others simply may not be ready. Either way, many of the people who were holding contrary views in respect to this, will likely feel some inner turmoil toward what’s happened. To which I ask, “how shall we react to those experiencing inner turmoil?” Even if it it appears to be some form of lashing out at “my” own belief, or the beliefs of those I love.

Pulling from the book “the Four Agreements” — I believe it is important to try to not take any of the negative responses personally. To try to move from any thought that this is an attack on you, rather than spiral with it. That is an egoic defense. But we could do so much more. Share your truth, hold your space, feel the love… but there is no reason to fight against someone else’s view (certainly not in social situations or on social media).

This is simply another side to all of this that I’m sensing. I hope the heart of this message transfers to some of you. As always, I’m extremely grateful to have the privilege to even voice my opinions, and to have a network of friends that cares. xoxo James

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James Governale

James Governale

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I’m a holistic health coach & writer living in Brooklyn, NY. I’m the creator of www.highheartwellness.com assisting others to reach desired health goals.