Acquaint Your Uncertainty

My intention for my first trip to the Big Island of Hawaii in 2010 was to get out of my head and more centered into my body. When visited again in 2016, my intention was to get better acquainted with uncertainty. Both experiences were intense. I’m grateful for having the opportunities to deliberately hone these intentions and face the concerns/fears that would come with them.

Uncertainty can seem extremely daunting at times. So, I set out to play around with it. Whether booking a one way ticket or traveling across the island to new territories— I explored different ways to test my relationship with uncertainty. I also accepted the dare to jump off a cliff into the river. Although I considered myself good with uncertainty, it’s a precarious relationship that I felt the need to continue to challenge.

There appears to be instances in life when concerns around uncertainty creep in. Some phases of life seem wrought with disabling pangs from uncertainty, while other periods feel like smooth sailing despite this regard. I knew phenomenon would be something to continually work through. I also knew that strengthening the skill of coping with uncertainty would be advantageous for future circumstances.

While exploring this, my methods may not be every person’s way of challenging themself. I get it; jumping off a cliff isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. There are many ways to jump off of a proverbial cliff. There are many ways to confirm your ability to trust that you’re going to land safely. These instances don’t have to be reckless. You can choose ways that are well-informed and intentional. However you choose, the wave of uncertainty can be felt.

I stood atop that cliff for several minutes before jumping. I wanted to feel every emotion that came up before committing to leap. I intuitively knew that I’d hear a clear voice speak to me if I was meant to jump at that time. I heard the voice. I leapt. I quickly felt the exhilaration of air then water. The uncertainty dissipated yet again. I appreciated my ability to dance with it, and for it to dance with me.