Why I am “Right” (And You Are Too!)
Can I trust myself to make wise decisions on my path? Decisions that will have multiple options — some aligned, some not aligned, and everything in between. Not every decision appears as a loud, resounding “yes” or “absolutely!” There are decisions that feel good at the time, yet may seem less than stellar later on. This is life.
In those instances when I may not know a decision wasn’t as aligned as I thought it could be. I can still glean something positive from that experience — a lesson, a silver-lining. Such choices can be seen as contrast, a counter-balance, a blow-up, a dismantling, a boomerang — something that initially felt good, then played out differently. From a broader vantage point, these are points of allowance for pivoting or course correction.
I calibrate my decision-making process through a lens of alignment. An alignment that’s relative to me and what I deem wise based on my access to knowledge and life experiences. I feel into the choices that take shape in my field. Bubbling into thought, vision, presence, intuition… an unfolding into desired, qualified states of being.
Shifting from a “Right/Wrong” Paradigm
Why am I sharing about this? I want to explore the idea, and practice, of how to move away from the paradigm of “right/wrong” thinking. Have you been wondering about this too? Is it even possible to move away from “right/wrong” thinking? It’s so prevalent in society. It’s as if the pull of the polarization gets increasingly stronger year to year.
When looking at the social structures of the world, I see the repeated remnants of “right/wrong” thinking lingering within foundations. While I don’t feel it’s necessarily my place to re-structure that aspect of how individuals live in the world, I’m curious to shine light that it’s there. I feel the call to step out of the “right/wrong” paradigm as much as I can, whilst still engaging within those systems.
With this curiosity, I question the basis of why one would cling to a need for being “right.” I’ve uncovered an emotional underpinning: fear. Could it be the fear that if I let go of being “right,” then I’ll be dominated. Does being “wrong” equal an invitation to be ridiculed or persecuted?
On one level, the concern of being “wrong” can simply be a matter of wanting to “save face” socially and publicly. On a deeper level, there’s a fear that an opposer will see this as weakness and they will use it against me. Across humanity, is this what’s at the core of the unwillingness to let go of rightness?
Do You Need to be Right?
Let me bring you into this discussion further. Where do you sit with your need to be “right?” Are you aware of instances when you want to be right? Do you want to use your “rightness” as a badge of honor that grants you approval? Do you use your “rightness” as weapon to disprove or oppose another who shall be deemed “wrong?” I find this to be an intriguing inquiry that can get easily overlooked by ego.
If you let your guard down, is it an inevitability that someone else will take over the exchange with their rightness? Are you fearful of the consequences that come with being labeled “wrong? Therefore perpetuating a cycle in which you must profess that you’re “right” as to stave those consequences. Where these cycles are brought to the surface, there can be efforts to shift the dynamic.
How can you and I, and “we” as a society, move away from using “rightness” as an omnipresent, invisible goal for our interpersonal exchanges? In our public discourse, in our social engagements, in our one-on-one relationships — can there be a shift? I want to know what that would look like in the world.
“Right” as a Feeling, Not a Justification
When it comes to this topic, I come back around to my personal stance. I consider what would feel most natural and allowing for me in each “now” moment, irregardless of any social consequence. This is:
Any decision I make is the “right” decision.
Can this be so? Is it possible that any decision can be “right?” I continually test the belief that it can be. That is, when the perspective is reframed, whilst working within the constraints of our current vernacular.
The “right” decision isn’t an external choice somewhere “out there.” That’s a trapping of the “right/wrong” paradigm. I can make the “rightness” of a decision an internal allocation. In other words, once I make a decision, then that becomes the “right” decision. I trust my choice, and move forward from there.